Feeling pretty good today. I started the day after sleeping way too much the day before; so much so that I never got out of bed to take my evening meds. My mom is so used to me getting out of bed at 1:00 that she was overjoyed that I showed up at the breakfast table at 11:00. It's comforting to know I live in an environment where not too much is expected of me.

We only had one banana left. I decided to play a trick on her. She assigned me the task of slicing the banana. I sliced one bowl half of a banana with each slice about 3/8 inch thick and in another bowl I sliced them razor thin (or as thin as the not-very-sharp butter knife and not-very-solid banana would allow) I gave myself the bowl with the bigger pieces, all the while knowing that my mom would think I was giving her a better deal with the larger-appearing pile of banana slices.


I ate a probably too big bowl of unsweetened (out of sugar) shreaded wheat, two pieces of toast, coffee and orange juice. I think I'm going to keep drinking coffee after my meals to prevent my increasingly common napping after meals, which can stretch on for hours. The dothead psychiatrist at Shoal Creek Psychiatric Hospital told me that inappropriate sleeping is a bad idea, but I sometimes "forget" what the Psychiatrists tell me.


I spent the next two hours playing Yahoo Pool and Yahoo JTs Blocks (a puzzle game)


JTs blocks, Yahoo Pool and Yahoo Euchre are a very important part of my life these days. It's nice to know that there are 27,354 other people that are playing pool with each other in cyberspace. It justifies me being there, that's for sure. I particularly enjoy it when people start conversations. Normally it's just "gg" for "good game" or the occational "gs" for "good shot" but once in a while you get a trash talker or a lonely old man (you can tell that their an old man because the icon they choose to represent themselves; I am a dog; has whiskers) asking me where I'm from or something like that. I get the greatest kick out of someone playing Yahoo pool with someone at work. It reminds me of the greatest point of petty rebelion against the corporate world I ever achieved; a 6 week stint at Tivoli as a Lotus Domino consultant billing $40/hr and playing video games 6 hours a day. Manic Depressives don't like to play by the rules.


I was playing JTs Blocks today, however. That's because I was listening to Steven King's "Apt Pupil" on audio books, and JTs Blocks and Euchre are more mindless games than pool. You get really sucked into pool. After a couple of games with the same person you really start to hate them. I wonder how much hate is generated needlessly by those thousands of web users playing pool against each other. Probably enough to knock down a building. "Apt Pupil" was a pretty decent book, better than the movie. The kid has latent homosexual urges in the book that weren't touched on in the movie. I'm glad that Stephen King did a good job getting into the Nazi mind. My bankrupsy lawyer told me that the guy who did chapter 13s in Austin was "the kinda guy who'd put people into gas chambers." He shook with impotent rage as I presented the documents to get me out of $36,000 worth of credit card debt. He had a combover balding hairdo and wire rim glasses as I recall, but it was his rage I remember the most. What kind of sicko would become an executor for bankrupsies?


By 2:00 I had put my shoes over my sockless feet. Time for Physical Therapy! I was starting to enjoy the ladies down there. They were all very encouraging, saying "awesome" a whole lot. Better make that "Awesome!" with a capitol 'A'. Very cheerful. One of them says I look like Drew Carey with my Elvis Costello Frames. I may weigh 209 lbs but I know I don't look that fat. Still, how mad can you get at someone who is willing to stretch out your legs for you? It's been 3 years since my surgery, having taken out my 5th cervical vertebre and fused the 4th to the 6th with a piece of bone sawed from my hip. I've had a slow and steady decline in function since then, now using a walker to get around most of the time at home, using Lofstram crutches (the kind the comedian kid on South Park uses) sometimes. I move slow but I don't get tired. I sometimes beat my companion down the street because they stop to talk to somebody (a tattoo artist or a tarot card reader). I don't stop for that stuff anymore.


It turns out I've gained 30 degrees of mobility in my ankle joint since I started Pt 3 weeks ago. I couldn't have seen that by myself. Stretching 5 times a day is really helping, but I don't expect I'll ever be able to walk without crutches again.


I get back home and tell mom the good news, she praises the Lord and seems overjoyed. Her relationship with God has suffered as my health declined over the last 3 years. It hurt me deeply when she told me she wasn't lighting shabbos candles anymore. I told her I wanted her to, and since I've been home, she has been. She doesn't sing the blessing though. She says it.


I retire to my room, play JTs blocks from 3:00 to 6:00, occationally playing .midi files on my computer using Cakewalk Home Studio (a music recording software package) to be a "player piano" to tell my Yamaha keyboard what to do. Some of the stuff sounds pretty damn good. My best friend Eric insists that I do an Orchestral Arrangement of SMD


Walkin' down the street, the light was red she said
Gimme five bucks and I'll give you head
I said OK you've got a deal
'Cause horny is the mood in which I feel


Chorus:


SMD SMD SMD,
Suck my
SMD SMD SMD
Suck my


We went into the alley and I dropped my pants
Now's the time for some oral romance
I whipped my one eyed willie out of my fly
She says "looks good just don't cum in my eye"


repeat chorus


She bent down to her knees
Excited, I pleaded "hurry up, please"
She wrapped her warm tongue around my big rod
For a moment there I felt Closer to God


repeat chorus


Regretfully the passion was said and done
since it was oral, there was no risk of a son
I pulled my ten incher from out of her throat
and handed that bitch her five dollar note


Chorus.


We had one of my mother's new dishes tonight. Roast chicken covered in Chi Chis Salad dressing ( a tomato vinegrette). It's not bad at all, and the veggies on the side made it a yummy meal all around. I drank my usual diet coke. My mom wanted to know why BBC world news was still on. We had already seen the pictures of the machine gunned Bat Mitzvah service in Israel. The new round of terrorism in Israel really disturbed me lately. I spent a year there after my Junior year of high school (they let me out of high school as long as I took government by correspondence) and even then the Palestinians were blowing up busses. I rode the bus every day.


I didn't watch TV today. I usually watch about 3-4 hours per day. Today, I felt chatty. Maybe I'm becoming hypomanic. I'll take my zyprexa tonight like a good boy. I always take my meds. After dinner I went thru my rolodex to call some people. After 31 years of life I have a lot fewer people I can call at the end of the day than I think I should. I didn't keep in touch with any of my high school or college friends. Now there's just Eric, Corrine (my first girlfriend, who is good for a laugh once every 3 months) and some people from Austin, where I spent the last 6 years. This time, I reached my old friend David Feldman, a salesman who just sold a domain name for $6000 today. I worked with him a short while right after I graduated from University of Michigan, attempting to sell long distance. He's doing fine. Making enough money to live on but not puting anything away. Loves his new Lithuanian wife. Shows genuine concern for my sister who saw the second building collapse in New York City. Doesn't seem to judge me that I'm 31, live with my parents, and haven't held a job for 6 months. I like Dave.