A look into my madness

Durring my last manic episode, I created a very strange web site that were all about the religeous delusions I was experiencing at the time. I've never documented what all the images meant to me at the time, so when I show the site to people they get confused.

The first thing you see on the page is an image called quick.gif which is an animated gif file that has a zero delay between images, so it's like a bunch of images going by in a blur. The first image in quick.gif is a picture of the word "CHAI" (life in Hebrew) with 2 cartoon children. The next image you see is a blue and white intertwined Star of David. After that, you see the logo for IBM (I worked at Lotus, a subsidiary of IBM at the time); you see the Lotus corporate icon next in the image. The next image that you see is a green circle with a cloverleaf and stem growing in to the middle of the circle. I think that this image represented "nature" in quick.gif. After the circle, you see a silver manorah. After that you see a pile of American Money (bills and coins). Next you see a picture of 2 IBM mainframe computers. After that you see a 5 pointed star (I don't remember what that means). Next you see a bunch of tourists walking next to a miniature replica of the Biblical Temple in Jerusalem. After that you see a cartoon Torah. Then you see a complex green symbolic image that I use later in the page that I'll explain later. The next thing you see is the same green circular image surrounded by 12 Warner Brothers cartoons. I was obsessed with the Warner Brothers cartoons at the time and thought that they somehow were symbolic of the Chinese Zodiac.

So what did this all mean? I believed that I was the future leader of a Jewish Cabal that would bring about the Messianic Age, the construction of the Third Temple using Lotus Software, IBM Hardware and an international database of people's Chinese Zodiac signs. You're not just born in the year of the Monkey; you're also born in the month of an animal, day of an animal and hour of an animal. I was born in the year of the dog, the month of the rooster, the day of the monkey, and the hour of the goat. I believed if we (the Cabal) had a list of everyone's zodiac signs and which part of the Torah they would have read on their bar/bat mitzvas, we could maximize their human potential and optomize the perfection of the universe. I was also obsessed with a line in the Old Testament about the Tower of Babel that said "If the people of the world all spoke one language, they can do anything". I believed that the internet itself was becoming self-aware and that the INTERNET was the MESSIAH.

The next thing you see in the web page is an online poem that is an expansion of the Jazz Standard "swinging on a star". That song mentions the animals mule, fish, and monkeys in the song's verses. I added rat, cat, hare, snake, horse, sheep, rooster, dog and pig verses to round out the chinese zodiac. I put images that flashed next to some of the verses to spice up the page a little. Next to the rat there was a picture of Sammy Gravano, and a flashing medieval portrait of the hanging of Judas, and a pile of cocaine. Next to the mule was a picture of a can of Coors Light, with a flashing image of Karl Marx and Jimmy Hoffa. Next to the cat verse there is a picture of Maralyn Monroe, with flashing pictures of catwoman and Charles Manson playing a guitar.

The next image was called zodiac.gif. This was an image based on the lable of a Maker's Mark whiskey bottle. It is a green circle with a large "S" an "I" and a "V". On the inside of the circle there are 6 triangles spaced 60 degrees apart, 4 cloverleafs spaced 90 degrees apart, a seven pointed star. In the middle of the circle is a marijuana leaf. On the outside there are 5 lightning bolts from the German SS logo, and 5 pyramids, all spaced 72 degrees apart. I wanted this symbol to be the icon for my new religeon. Surrounding the icon was Pinky and the Brain, the mule icon for the Democratic Party, Sylvester the cat, bugs bunny, Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, the Tazmanian Devil, Elmer Fudd, Wacko from the Animaniacs, Tweety Bird, the logo for the airborne division of the Israeli Army, and Porky Pig. I thought that each of these represented an animal in the chinese zodiac, but I'm not sure which was which.

The next image you see on the web page is called evil.gif This was a Satanic Pentagram with Disney Charactors on each point of the star. Goofy flashed images of an SA helmet, and a wild boar. Mickey flashed images of a rat and Joseph Mengele. Donald Duck flashed the icon of the Hitler Youth Flag. Minnie Mouse flashed a picture of catwoman and Hitler. Walt Disney flashed pictures of a cobra and a Hitler Youth child with a gas mask. I still don't trust Disney.

The final image is a collection of Eye of Horus Fractions and Egyptian Number Heirogliphs. I was walking with a staff at the time. I believed that if I bounced the staff 3 times on the ground, then whispered the rest of PI (.14159265...) in ey of Horus fractions in Biblical Hebrew I would be able to cast incantations like Moses did in Exodus.